The Big Uno

My sweet baby Zeeland:

It seems like yesterday that I heard your little voice screaming for the first time. On October 15, 2013 at 3:34 am you made me a mother and that is the most precious gift I have ever received. I felt so much love, relief and pride in the moment Daddy carried you over to me and I got to kiss your face.
 It made the terrifying labor all worth it.

When I got the news that you would need to be transferred to a different hospital it felt like my heart was ripped from my chest, I was devastated. I tried to be strong for you, but nothing made sense to me. You were with me every moment for the last 9 months and suddenly you were being taken away, and although I knew you needed to go and you would be taken care of, I wanted to be so selfish and refuse to let you go. I wanted so badly to be by your side and encourage you to be strong. Those 2 excruciatingly long days away from you were a complete blur. I am so thankful for Daddy during those days. He was there for you and for me; holding both of our hands, bringing you milk and me pictures and videos so I didn't lose my mind.

 I couldn't wait another second to leave that hospital.

I practically ran into the NICU. There was a lot of noisy machines and your nurse, Cherie, explaining medical things to me, but I heard nothing. As she placed you in my arms my world stopped... it was just you and I and I wanted to bottle that moment and keep it forever. There are no words to describe the way I was feeling in that moment. All I could do was cry and examine every tiny detail of your body. 

You amazed us with your strength and determination to get out of that hospital! 8 long days later, we brought you home and you immediately filled our home and our hearts with so much love and light.

I was so lucky to have 4 months to stay at home with you and I took total advantage of our time together. We snuggled all day and I kissed your face a million times over. 

Daddy and I have loved watching you grow and learn new things. Every milestone suddenly becomes our favorite.

A few of our favorites and favorite memories:

-You started cooing at 10 weeks... your voice melted us!

-Our trip to Park City for Thanksgiving

 -The first time you played with a rattle at 3 months

-Your first laugh at 3 months

-When you rolled over and I caught it on camera! (mama cried)

-First time eating rice cereal at 19 weeks. Little did we know what a good eater you would become!

-How much you LOVE camping, riding 4 wheelers and being outside in general

-The first time you clapped, sat by yourself, said mama and dada, scooted backward and when you won the baby contest at 7 months

-How you wave with your fingers and both arms in the air
-How much you love Zeppy! Usually your first word when you wake up is doggy...and he's always right there waiting for you
-How you get the tiniest voice when you say "hi!"

-Signed 'more', threw a ball, got your first haircut, said Hady, dog and whispers hot! at 9 months

-How much you love Kohen!
-We can't ever get enough Zee kisses. Whenever we lay on the ground you'll randomly crawl over and smooch us. It's our favorite how you just nuzzle your face into ours. And anytime we say "OOOO" you will just nuzzle into us, or any close blanket or stuffed animal

-Our trip to Bear Lake

-You LOVE bath time... and so do we!
-How you squint your nose and say "happy"
-How you stop everything and dance to any music

-Your first 2 teeth were the fang teeth

-How obsessed you are with bucks! "bu,bu!"

-How quickly you learn
-The day you suddenly said "hunny" and followed me around calling me that

-You learning "no, no no!" while shaking your fist

Zee, Daddy and I are completely smitten with every fiber of your being! We cherish every moment we have playing with you, chasing you around and pinning you down while changing you (GRR!), and laughing with you.

I am proud to say that I was able to nurse you for 12 whole months, although you we've become quite uninterested in the last month and a half. It sounds silly, but I will miss those moments.

I love rocking you to sleep, and you reaching up and touching my face with your tiny hands. I know that is your way of saying, "I love you Mommy". I can feel it, and it frequently brings me to tears.

You steal the hearts of everyone you come in contact with. You've just got this light about you, and even as tiny as you are, your personality just attracts perfect strangers. I feel so proud when people are taken back by how smart you are and compliment you on how handsome you are!

Daddy has been able to be home a lot more the last few weeks, and we all love it! But what I DON'T love... is you thinking your Daddy's boy! (Just kidding, I secretly love it...but don't tell!)

I have been planning your first birthday party for the last few months. I want it to be perfect, because it's YOUR DAY and you are our world. October 15th will forever be my favorite day of the year.
Bringing you into our lives has been more than we ever dreamed it would be. By far the best decision we have ever made. You bring so much happiness into our lives, it's crazy.

I wish you the happiest first birthday baby boy, and many more to come. I know you will do amazing things in life. From day one you proved to us that you're a fighter. You're already so talented and coordinated, I can't wait to cheer you on in whatever you choose to do... although I have a slight suspicion it will be baseball and hunting. With those big brown eyes and that happy smile I know you will continue to steal hearts.

Mama and Daddy love you more than you will ever, ever know!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZEE MAN!

All is WONDERFUL

I was bound and determined to stay updated on my blog after Zee was born. I had really, really, great intentions, but that just hasn't happened. Time has been passing by so quickly and I can't stand to lose one single waking second with my son. 

So here's a little blurb of an update.

I feel compelled to jot this down because I honestly feel like I have been on cloud 9 the past 2 weeks and I don't ever want to forget the way I'm feeling right now.

Mr Zeeland is now 5.5 months old (GASP!) and is getting more fun and adorable by the day. Seriously. If you know me at all you know I am completely obsessed and consumed with my tiny human. 

Motherhood has been the biggest blessing... better than I could have ever dreamed.

He is a LOVER of the outdoors. Which happens to be perfect since Austin would rather live under a tree in the mountains than a real roof, and we love to do any and everything outdoors.

He learns so fast! It amazes me what he can do and it seems the last few weeks have brought so many new exciting milestones. He eats solid foods and loves everything except banana squash. He sits up. He chews on everything. He laughs...the most heart melting laugh. He reaches for me. He is very very observant. He loves his toys. He sleeps through the night...well until 6 when I can't help but snuggle him in my bed (woops). And he is the most snuggly, happy, beautiful, smartest, healthy boy in all the land. He's spoiled rotten and deserves it.

WE BOUGHT A TOWNHOUSE!!!!

This process was started back in January. We found a brand new townhouse that is absolutely perfect for our little family and fell in love with it. The loan process was ridiculous... as it is for everyone else in the world. But, we got clear to closing and our loan fell through. We were devastated. Within 2 days we were with a new lender and he had our loan done in 10 days. TEN! 

We closed in the Costco food court because I couldn't get off work and couldn't bare to wait one more single day to do it! (Thank you title company!)

We started moving this week and will be done as soon as Austin gets home on Friday. Yay! We can't wait to sleep there! In our very own house! Oh. my. goodness. It still doesn't feel real to me. We've been dreaming of this for so long and it seems to have just fallen in our laps.

Austin is still working in Vernal Monday-Friday. This has been such a challenge. I hate that he is away from me, but more so away from Zeeland and only gets to see him on the weekends. We do our best to make our time quality time. Someday, hopefully sooner than later, he will be working around here and we can have a normal family again. And then our lives will be complete!

I applied for a position at the Lehi Costco about a month ago and last week I found out I got the job! Not only will this save so much money on gas, but soooo much time. I will be home 4 days of the week with my little munchkin and I can't tell you how thrilled I am about this! 

All in all:

I feel so blessed. Like, completely overwhelmed. 

I have the perfect healthy baby boy

A husband who works so hard and loves us and knows how to handle me in my craziest of moments...and lets be honest... we all know I ride the crazy train now and again.

I work for a company who truly cares for their employees, provides amazing benefits and is family oriented

For the first time in years, all my siblings are clean happy and healthy!

Family who has been so supportive and helpful. We are overly grateful to our family who continually opens their schedules to help baby sit Zee so he doesn't have to go to daycare. This has been HUGE for us. I just can't put a price on the peace of mind I have when I drop him off to go to work and not have to worry about him at all. 

I have friends who are so genuine and loving and keep me company while my hubs is away all week.

Guys, I am truly living the American dream. That's the bottom line. I am blessed. Life is beautiful. My heart is full.

Zeeland weeks 10-12

On December 19, Zeeland wore his first size 3 month outfit... How did my baby go from being way too tiny for newborn clothes to fitting in 3 month clothes?! ahh! He also started wearing size 1 diapers. He's getting toooooo big tooooo fast.

[his first 3 mo outfit]

 10 weeks
At 10 weeks Zeeland started cooing at us... oh my heart melt! I can sit and talk to him for hours and be completely entertained. I also packed up all his newborn clothes this week. And cried.
 At ten weeks I also 'tried' putting Zeeland in his room, in his crib. Austin was sick so we thought it would be best if he wasn't in our room. I think this was harder on me than him. I couldn't sleep well not hearing all his little fidgets. Soooo that lasted 3 nights and I brought him back in our room.

Austin got 2 weeks off for Christmas! We were in heaven! We loved getting to spend so much time as a family, and took full advantage. We crammed as many fun things in as possible.

The night before Christmas Eve we took a drive to go see lights. At the time, Zee had been on an anti-carseat kick. He didn't last long. We ended up going to a house in Orem that has tons of lights, got him out of the car and walked close so he could see them. He loved all the colored lights!

Zee's first Christmas was so fun, even though he was too tiny to know what was going on. We spent the night at Austin's parents house and got up at 5 to open presents. We all got spoiled rotten! Zeeland got a couple light up toys, a rocker, a play mat and a few other things. We stopped by my moms to see her before she went to work, headed to Austin's grandpa's then home and spent the rest of the day with my family and celebrated my dad's birthday. Holidays are busy for us, but we wouldn't have it any other way. I love having our families live so close that we have the ability to see everyone!

We rang in the New Year with our friends at our house. I was lucky to have 2 New Years kisses this year... even though one of them was asleep ;)
We spend New Years day snuggling, then headed up to Midway to eat dinner and visit the ice castles! It was so beautiful. It was cold, so we had Zee all bundled up. He was tired, but really liked the lights in the ice.

11 weeks
 The best thing that happened at 11 weeks was Zeeland discovering his fist. He prefers his own little fingers over his binky almost always. It's hilarious to watch him... he just munches that little hand, and can almost fit the whole thing in his mouth. He was so thrilled about it, he was starting to make his knuckles red and raw. Woops! Also at 11 weeks I put him back in his crib...for reals this time. He did so great! 
He is getting pretty good with his little voice too. Mornings are THE BEST. We lay in bed and chat for a good 30-45 minutes. His smile and his voice just melt me to pieces. 
Oh and his cheeks?! They are getting chubbier by the day! I CANNOT help but kiss them all day long. Good thing he doesn't know any different.

[My favorite kind of days. Family snuggle sesh]

 
12 weeks
 Zeeland loves to look around, so we got out the bumbo. He still bobbles around in it a little bit, but he really loves sitting up like a big boy! He LOVES to lay on his back and study faces and be talked to. We got out his first rattle... his eyes were huge! He can hold on to it really well (obviously not intentionally) and loves it when he shakes it himself. This was such a fun week for us!  

[My favorite stretchy face! He sleeps in a swaddler and as soon as that thing comes off, the stretching is on!}

[Not quite sure how to play with the toys yet, but he's definitely interested!]