Once upon a time...

I had 2 really great friends who saw me in a crazy point in my life and handed me some direction. They introduced me to the Great Life Foundation. I attended all 3 levels of Great Life and learned  A LOT about my life and who I am in this big world. I had a lot going on in this brain and Great Life really helped me to sort it all out and make sense of it.

Sometimes, I get so caught up in my 'thoughts' that I miss moments that are happening around me. It's time for me to get grounded again: Start writing in my journal again, reading, meditating, exercising more. I'll keep you updated of my progress :)

Sunday

Our lounge day

Today we had our first "Sunday" in quite a while cause I've been working Sundays lately (which is sooo nice cause I make time and a half). This is our favorite day off together because we can just lounge around and eat snacky foods.

Here is how our day went:

Slept in til 10. Made coffee. Got back in bed to watch some TV.

Made breakfast at noon.

Decided it was a snack-a-thon kind of day, so we hit up walmart (gag, I hate it there but it's the only place I can find poblano peppers for my amazing salsa)

Aust made some jalepeno poppers filled with cream cheese, cheese and cilantro, wrapped up in a piece of bacon and cooked on the BBQ... YUM!

And I was also feeling very generous this year so I decided to make mini loaves of homemade bread for the peeps at my work. Not just any ordinary bread either... braided bread filled with either 

a) Cream cheese, jalepenos and garlic salt

b) Cheese and garlic

c) cinnamon and sugar

d) Raspberry and cream cheese

 This project took about 3.5-4 hours. 10 mini loaves and 2 regular. phew.

Austin lounged on the couch watching football.

I took a hot bath and listened to Citizen Cope station on Pandora.

Then pedicured my toes. Oh, and Austin wanted his done so I said only if I could paint them too... he let me :) He has black metallic toes. And they're sexy.

Pretty awesome Sunday right?? I cherish these kinds of days. I know once we start a family these days will still be awesome, just a little more chaotic.

[snuggled in the bed with the window open. delicious]

 

Sandy Hook Elementary.

May God bless all those families who were directly affected.

I was taking my first break at work when Austin called me to tell me what was all over the news. I couldn't stop thinking about it and it had started to make me sick. On my way home I was debating if I wanted to watch the news or not. It didn't fully sink in until I turned the TV on. I just sat and bawled. What a tragedy. My heart aches for those 26 people who lost their lives in that school and even more so for the families who won't get to spend the holidays with their loved ones.

This Christmas I am so grateful to be going home to spend 9 lovely days with my family. I cannot wait! I am already emotional thinking about hugging and kissing on my babies. I can't imagine what I'd do if anything ever happened to them, so this Christmas I will be celebrating with all the love I can give in honor of all 20 of those innocent babies and the 6 adults who were protecting them.

I hope anyone who reads this post will kiss your babies extra for those parents who cannot anymore, I know I will be!

[Kai 3 months]

[Aysha 6, Hunter 6, Ryder 4, Hadley 3]

Cleaning.

We were discussing the other day about how we both hate to clean throughout the week, we'd rather just bust it all out on our day off. So we did just that today. We've created the BEST cleaning routine. I get the bathroom (because I'm so anal about how it's cleaned), Austin does the kitchen and living room but he let's me vacuum (because that's also something I'm anal about). During all this we keep the laundry going and then both hit the room. I fold and put all the laundry on hangers and Austin puts it away. Then we both sit on the couch and enjoy for the rest of the night :)

We always have the best of intentions to just keep it CLEAN but for some reason that just doesn't work for us. We like our house to be lived in. My mom always comments on how lucky I am to have Austin... she almost died when we had a family dinner and it was Austin doing the dishes after. I am pretty damn lucky :) Thanks boo.

Aka... my babe, boo, booboo, sugs, love, Mr. Christensen (and the list goes on)

I love having time to myself. For like a few hours....tops. I really don't do well being alone and yes, that is one of my poorer qualities. I think too much. This brain of mine never shuts off. For example- every night we climb into bed and Austin drifts off into this deep wonderful sleep within 10 minutes max while I lay there wide eyed and 'thinking' until the wee hours of the morning. He always says, "it's so easy, just shut your eyes and sleep!" I wish!
So this is one of those moments. I've been thinking. Austin left on Thursday to go camping with his brother, Gage, and his cousin, Jordan, so this will be my third night sleeping alone. I've been posted up on my couch watching any and everything on Netflix every moment that I haven't been at work since he left. I miss him. Like a lot. And I think a lot of the time I take him for granted. If I were closer to home I'm positive I would've been spending these nights with my girlfriends and enjoying our time apart. I know time spent apart is healthy for us, but then I get these crazy thoughts like... "this is what my life would be without him". And I hate it.
Austin helps me to be a better me, and I feel like that me isn't complete without him. So as lonely as I am at this moment, I am also extremely grateful because it helps me to take a step back and remember how much I love him, need him and enjoy every moment we spend together.

I can't wait to add "hubby" to that list of names for him! Oh, and I also can't wait to kiss that cute face of his when he gets home tomorrow and hear allllll about his trip...which I know will consist mostly of deer horns ;)

Distance makes the heart grow fonder...

I'll apologize in advance for doing yet another post about moving/going home. But it's been a HUGE thing in my life.

Since we've moved, Aust and I have spent more time apart than we ever have because our schedules are hardly ever coordinating. Every time we have went home for a visit we end up driving 2 cars because neither of us is willing to spend some of our time off here... I went home on Monday, he came on Wednesday. I left on Friday, he left on Sunday. So, we only got to spend 2 nights together at home...but our trip was so awesome!

I got in around 9 pm on Monday and went straight to Chase and Kesli's house. I was DYING to see my new nephew Kai! Hunter and Ryder had gone to sleep, but luckily they kept the baby up for me. He was so happy and snuggly, I was in Heaven!! After that, me and my little brother, Dallas, went to IHOP for some late night grub and chatted our little hearts out. I love spending time with him, for some reason we turn into the biggest goofs when we're together...we stayed up til 3am and decided we better go to bed.

[I just melt for this face! Oh my goodness...he's so sweet]

On Tuesday I got up early and woke up my momma and Cherie. It was like childhood all over again. Me and Cherie sat at the bar and mom made us eggs for breakfast :) My mom decided she was going to make pumpkin roll, so I invited all the kids over to drive us all crazy...lol. When Laura got there with my Hadley she was so cute... as they were pulling up I could see her yelling, "HANNAH!!!" From that moment on, she was MY girl for the next 3 days! I loved having all the kids running wild. I got to take Aysha and Hadley to tumbling...well Aysha tumbled and Hadley ran like a wild child non-stop, but hey...she's only 3. That night Cherie, Aysh and I went to have a sleepover at Kesli's house. The kids had so much fun and stayed up waaaaay past their bedtime. It was so nice to just relax and catch up with my sissy's and brother. That night was HORRID though... I was throwing up every 20 minutes from 1-10 am. Yuck.

[love Had's smile!]

[My 2 princess'. They love each other so much. It reminds me of me and my cousin's <3]

[Lost his first tooth! Toothfairy brought him $5...that's gonna be one poor toothfairy]

[We took turns snuggling this guy all night...he's so precious!]

[He's not so much a baby anymore, but he still loves snuggling! This night Hunter just came and curled up on my lap and fell asleep, then I rocked baby Kai to sleep and topped the night off by sitting on the couch with Ryder on one side and Aysh on the other and tickled both their backs til they fell asleep. Baby whisperer right here.]

[bound to have a good time with these 3 hooligans!]

[Their best dance poses}

[I think this was about 11 pm and over tired! They were hunting each other...my favorite animal to be hunted was Ryder the Puma. "GUYS, I'm a PUMA, I'M A PUMA!"]

[love my brother!!]

[oh and I love my sissy and niece too!]

[Favorite Ryder moment of the night. He didn't know anyone was listening and counted to like 15 or something and I said, "Hey, are you kidding me? You can't count that high can you?!" so he starts counting fast and gets to 24, stops mid-sentence and says, "Wait guys, I'm not even kidding!"]

I wasn't about to let my lack of sleep and puking get in the way of my Wednesday though! I met up with 2 of my favorite girls in the whole world, Taylor and Danielle, for lunch in SLC, then headed to my dad's house for a little nap before the night events. I must've only been half asleep because I swear I saw this happening in slow motion: there were deer horns by the fireplace and as Aysh came running by (being the clumsy girl that she is) fell and hit her ear on one of the horns. I thought it was stuck in her ear so I jump up and grab her...luckily it missed, but gave her a little gash. Once we got the bleeding under control my little miss Hadley makes this comment that I cannot get over... "Aysh, that deew hown was fweakin cweepy!" lol this cheered her right up and they were back to playing in no time. My babe finally arrived around 6 :) We had a couple friends over that night, sat by the fire and enjoyed.

[my friends are babes!]

[Austin stole Kai from me the whole night]

[My dad is the best grandpa. He's always playing with the kids and he never complains. He'll play dog pile, hunting, hide and go seek, etc etc etc all day with them]

[Kai just chills with Hunter. Best brother ever]

[The each got their own gingerbread house to make. They actually turned out really good!]

[Miss Hadley loving on her Austin]

[She kept saying, "I'm Hannah AND Austin's girl!"]

Thanksgiving day is always busy for us. We had dinner at the Christensen's at 1 (So yummy!!) and got a nap on the floor. Honestly, what's better than a long nap after Thanksgiving dinner?!  Then we headed to my dad's for the second round of turkey and spent the rest of the night relaxing and playing settlers.

Friday morning was the day I had to come home. Chance and Austin had went hunting, so the rest of my fam got up early and we went to breakfast at Jim's. I DID NOT want to leave. Like even typing this right now is making me tear up. I had the best short trip home, and leaving my family was seriously so hard I was crying. Such a baby.

Aust spent the rest of the weekend hunting....just what he loves most...well second to me of course. We had the best mini vaca ever. I never thought going to ol Pleasant Grove would be a 'vacation', but there's nowhere else I'd rather be!

Giving Thanks.

We are going HOME for Thanksgiving! Yay! I knew this time of year would really be the biggest challenge for me not being close to home. I am homesick and I'm such a family person. I am posting this "Thanksgiving post" early, because while I'm home (for a very short 2 days), I am spending every waking second with my family. 

I have SO much to be thankful for this year, and every year. In the last 2 years I've learned a lot about myself and have really come to know what is important to me. So, this may sound a little sappy but here it goes anyway :)

I am grateful for...

• Austin- The most patient, understanding, loving, hard-working, trustworthy and HANDSOME man I know! I always find myself just staring at him and wondering how I got so lucky. We balance each other out perfectly. It's so natural for us to be together... I can't wait to see what our future holds, I know it's bright! With this man by my side as my partner and best friend, I know we will succeed. I am grateful for you, my babe, for everything you are and what you bring to our relationship. I love you!!

• Zeppelin- I got my little Yorkie on Christmas 2007. Since that day he has been my little buddy. He is so in-tuned with my emotions...when I'm happy, he's happy and when I'm sad, he's sad and nobody could comfort me the way he does. I couldn't imagine how my life over the last 5 years would be without him. He's currently living at my mom's since we're not allowed a pet in the apartment, and I miss him every single day. I'm thankful for my little baby Zep.

• My parents- I would dare to argue that I have the best parents in the world. I have such a special relationship with my mom and my dad that I am more than grateful for each day. They have always supported me in everything I have ever done, and I don't know where I would be without them. I am grateful for the times when I have needed them and they have needed me, and we're somehow in the right spot at the perfect time. I'm so grateful for the memories they have given me, and the unconditional love. When I'm a mommy one day, I hope I am at least half of what they have been for me.

 

• My in-laws- Rick and Lisa have supported me and Austin since day one. I was soooo nervous to meet them for the first time and I put if off for as long as possible. The first time I ever spent time with them was on Thanksgiving 2010 and I knew I just fit in with their family. They set the perfect example for us, I admire their marriage and the way they have raised their kids. I know I speak for Austin too when I say we are truly grateful for both of our parents and what they do for us.

 

• My siblings- These 4 people have helped me experience every emotion possible from love to heart break. I am nicknamed "the mom of the family" because that's who I am... I am in this family to keep us all together and to be a second mother to everyone. I love you Chase, Chance, Cherie and Dallas to the moon and back. We are so incredibly blessed to have each other and I thank God for the connection we all have! I am grateful that we'd all rather hang out with each other than anyone else. And even though there have been a few maybe a few too many times I've wanted to kick all of your asses (pardon my french), I am also grateful for those moments because that has made us who we are. We are stronger and closer because of what we have overcome together.

 

• My nieces and nephews- I never knew I could love so deeply until my nieces and nephews were born...I can't wait to say that about my own babes one day! To say my crazy little family has been through a lot over the years is a complete understatement. My little babies are what  keeps us going. They are the sunshine in my world. There is not a better feeling in the world than having them all running at me for hugs and screaming "Hannah!!" Life would be so dull without them. I am thankful for all my 5 babies!!

• My friends- New and old. I am grateful I have people in my life who have been there for my through thick and thin. I always get teased about being the one with the camera and taking pictures of everything, but the reason is... I love looking back and remembering all the fun times I've had with my friends. There have been a few of my closest friends who have helped shape me into the person I am today, and I am thankful for their positive influence. I am also grateful for new friends here in St. George, for welcoming me and helping me feel a little more at home.
• My job- I love Costco! Who doesn't though, right?? I am blessed to work for a company who truly takes care of their employees. 

 

• Forgiveness- This has to be one of my favorite qualities. I am the most stubborn person in the whole world, I am willing to admit that. But I only am, because I love so much too much at times. Forgiveness plays a huge part in my life. I've had to learn to forgive some of the people who are closest to my heart and also accept being forgiven. If Austin had been as stubborn as me and not forgiven me for putting him through hell, we wouldn't be together today. So forgive and move forward. It's a beautiful thing.
• Sobriety- It's no big secret that addiction runs in my family. Over the last 10+ years 4 people in my family have fought a hard, ugly battle against drugs. It's put us all through hell, but I am grateful for it. We've grown so much as a family, although I wish we didn't have to suffer the heartache. I am so proud of these 4 people because as of this moment in time they are all clean and sober! Each day is battle and sobriety is fragile, so every day as much as today I am grateful for sobriety!

I think I could go on for days with a list of everything I am thankful for, but these are the most important to me. My family and my friends are my everything and relationships outweigh any sort of material item, so I make them count.

Happy Thanksgiving to all, I hope everyone enjoys the holiday with their loved ones as much as we are going to!

Photos.

Because I feel too lazy to blog about what we've been up to here in St. George. Plus...pictures are worth a 1000 words right?? (In no particular order)

[We had an 'Austin and Tori must-ache to St George' going away party on the 4th of July. All of our wonderful friends and family came. We ate. We drank. We lit fireworks. We laughed. (I cried). Bryce played music by the fire until the wee hours of the morning. It was really freaking great.]

[Now that we're only a hop, skip and a jump away from the AZ strip, my Mister is quite obsessed...after all this is THE best place to shed hunt. duh. We camped for 2 nights and hiked alllll day. There's nothing more peaceful and relaxing than being in the middle of nowhere with the one person you love the most. Trips like this help us be us]

[I found my very first shed ever! (with the help of my boo, but we won't mention that) We had been hiking for about 2 hours and finally stumbled upon this horn! Woo go me!]

[My best friend in the whole world, Taylor, came to visit me! GIRLS WEEKEND! She even surprised me and brought my puppy. I love both of them. Oh and isn't her new haircut so cute?? It was loooooong before]

[Us just being cute. duh]

[We did all kinds of girl things. Pool, nails, face masks, wine, etc etc etc]

[Austin's little brother's baseball tournaments in St. George. BRRR! We love having them in town!]

[I got to spend the whole first week in September up north, at home. This precious guy is my nephew. He was due on Sept 1....born on sept 7 .Stubborn baby! I got to watch him come to this crazy world and let me tell you...there was not a dry eye in that room. So amazing]

[Shootin our bows, getting ready for the hunt!]

[Not a whole lot goes on around this little town, but this my friends was quite the weekend. We went to the derby and the fair]

[Miss Danielle and her bf Tim came to visit us! We had a blast! I think our favorite memory from that trip was golfing at Green Springs. I don't know if I've ever laughed that hard!]

[I got homesick after being here like 2 weeks. So these wonderful people...aka my sister Cherie, brother Chance and their daughters Aysha and Hadley, and my puppy Zeppelin....came to visit us! Austin kept calling me Grandma Hannah (Hannah is what my nieces and nephews call me) because I loaded up on so many yummy treats, we went swimming, colored, made cookies and ice cream in a baggie....you know...Grandma type things. But I can't help it. I love these babes like they're my own]

[My brother and his daughter share the same birthday...awesome right?! We spent the morning at Kangaroo Zoo and eating cake at Grandpa Chucks. That night we had a bunch of friends at Texas Roadhouse and spent the rest of the night around the fire. Happy Birthday Chance and Hadley!]

[While I was home for that week, I got to celebrate my nephew Ryder's 4th birthday! Donkey Kong party! This was the day I was coming back home and I was so so sad to leave my family. I'm so glad I got to spend that day with all these babies]

[My other love. Zeppelin. I miss him so much. He currently lives at my mom's]

[Such a treat! Lunch date in St George with my sweet Gramps, Cherie and my daddy. I love them]

[Momma's big 50th!! Girls weekend... Thriller at Tuacahn was AMAZING and freezing...then we headed to Mesquite for 2 nights. Always such fun times with my momma and second momma]