Emotional.

I feel so emotional today. I've been putting away laundry for the last 2 hours (I know...it really piled up this week) and I just keep having little tears run down my face.

These tears are tears of gratitude and joy for many reasons:

-This sleeping baby boy by my side.

-Each time I fold up a newborn outfit that no longer fits Zee I cry. I cry because I'm so sad that he's growing so fast, but also feel so grateful for his health. The first few days of his life were terrifying and seeing all those tiny sick babies in the NICU really puts things into perspective. We have a lot to be grateful for!

-My brother Chase has been in rehab for about a month and a half. He has made really great progress and could be released at any time, but he has had no where to go. Our family feels it's best for him to go to a sober living house and do things on his own. I've been sick over the thought of him sitting in there over Christmas when he could be home with his boys. I've been praying about it and knew something would happen. My dad has decided to let him stay here and work for him for the next few weeks and the money he earns will go toward rent for sober living. When Chance told me this this morning I felt like 1000 pounds were lifted from my shoulders. I'm so grateful for SOBRIETY! My family has been through enough, I pray this is the end of it. I can't wait to see Chase and give him a huge hug and tell him how proud I am of him

-Chase's wife has been working and raising their babies while he has been away. Somehow, she keeps a smile on her face. I know she's sad and stressed. Last night she text me that someone left money on her door for Christmas with no note or name and it brought her to tears. People are so generous and loving!! My nephews deserve the world

-Last year was probably the roughest year, financially, for Austin and I. But we survived. It made our relationship so strong. This year, I am grateful for good paying jobs. This is the first time in awhile that we haven't had to stress about money, and it feels good. I'm grateful for my husband who works so hard in ridiculous weather for Zeeland and I.

-I have so much Christmas spirit this year! Even though Zee is only 2 months old, I really believe children make this time of year so magical. I love having my family together, seeing all my friends and giving gifts. It's the time of year that I feel the most love shared.

I guess all in all...I'm just a happy, grateful girl. I feel so extremely blessed that it has been bringing me to tears.